I finally talked to the two people I was afraid of, and, of course, it was really easy. The only hard part was the dread. My aunt is excited to have me come out there, is not overtly angry about me dropping out of college when she helped pay for it, and has space for me for a bit. The invitation is not to stay indefinitely, though, which is exactly as it should be.
The director who hangs out at Greenberry's talked to me for two hours about how to get into the business, with a step by step plan and timeline. He confirmed a lot of my theories, but cut through all my vague "meet as many people as I can and everything will work out." I've heard a lot of advice: it was great to have someone highlighting the useful parts and showing me the concrete way to make things happen. We exchanged numbers, and he's gonna meet me in LA next time he does a project, which might be in a month.
- Better
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rhymingreason- February 25th, 2010
- Too Much
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- rhymingreason
- February 8th, 2010
Too much snow, people, fun, books, movies, obligations. Too much to do in three weeks before I leave. I'll make a list and a reward. But today I have to work.
- Sing-a-long
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- rhymingreason
- February 4th, 2010
Last night, after hanging out with my buddy Tim, we went home together (in a platonic way!) on his bike. He stood on the pedals, I sat on the seat. The trip was about three miles. We sang the whole way.
- Let it Burn
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- rhymingreason
- February 3rd, 2010
I have to go through the fire a few more times before I can be completely cleansed of weak human emotions (behaviors) like fear and hesitation and self-doubt.
Here, I know who I am. I have a menial job, but I know how to talk to people and get them to like me. I know when and how to cut loose. I can choose from several social engagements any night of the week. Every time I walk out my door, to go to the grocery store or the metro or a restaurant, I bump into someone I know.
I don't know what it's like over there. I don't know if my level of social panache will stand out. If it will even be average. I don't know if all the women will be more beautiful, if any of the men will be dorky enough to fall for my charms, if my talents and ideas will stand out.
More importantly, on a certain level I am convinced that no one will want to help me. I know it's petty, and people deserve more credit than that, but why would anyone feed potential competition?
I think I'm most afraid of failing to charm. I'm used to employing a certain strategy, and it might backfire in a new place. Especially a place as different as I imagine LA to be. And in order to be successful, I'm pretty sure I need people more than I need anything else.
A film director hangs out at Greenberry's most days. He's great -- always has a smile or a wink to toss around. Everybody says I should talk to him and they're right. But I haven't because I'm terrified.
- Insane
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- rhymingreason
- February 2nd, 2010
My protein bar tasted like onion.
- Important Distinction
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- rhymingreason
- February 1st, 2010
Repeat of a conversation I've had many times (including this morning) --
"Good" is morally or aesthetically meritorious.
"Awesome" is attention-grabbing and fun.
Examples from my wardrobe (just to get you thinking in the right direction):
--Bowler Derby hat: good and awesome
--Colorful jumpsuit: awesome, not good
--Conservative pinstripe pants: good, not awesome
--Ratty old t-shirt: not awesome, not good
- Story of My Life
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- rhymingreason
- January 31st, 2010
Keys? Not in purse, not in pockets, not on the floor, oh crap, pick up trash, pick up laundry, search all corners, not on the floor, not in pockets, 20 minutes later oh they're in my purse.
- At Greenberry's ...
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- rhymingreason
- January 31st, 2010
Bill: Honda's build a robot that can walk and run and carry things*. What a hideous idea. They'll wind up using them for soldiers.
Me: Interesting. I like robots.
Phoebe: Me too. I dated one once.
Me: How did that work out?
Phoebe: It didn't come naturally.
*I suspect this is not actually correct.
- Rugby
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- rhymingreason
- January 31st, 2010
Last night, I had dinner with a bunch of women rugby players. They were all quite pleasant (and quite lesbian), but their stories from on the field terrified me. Crotch-kicking, biting, and illegal tackles seem to be frequent occurences.
I don't understand the appeal. While I don't cry about injuries (twisted ankle, second-degree burns, massive leg infection in the last year), I certainly don't seek them out. When I realize I'm in a dangerous situation, I quickly back out. I can't comprehend how these girls might get enough joy from the sport to balance the intense pain.
Takes all sorts.
- Practice
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- rhymingreason
- January 30th, 2010
Yesterday I spent five minutes at home. Today I'm trying to do an hour, but no guarantees. I've been out every night for about three weeks. Sometimes not out late, but definitely not in.
My room is a mess. But I feel well-rested and healthy.
Theoretically, I'm practicing for LA. I think in order to make it there, I'll have to set an intensely hectic social schedule. Networking and all that jazz. Right now, though, I am trying to figure out a good balance. Maybe stay in one or even two nights a week?
Cost is another issue. I'm pretty moderate, but even one drink every time I go out adds up. Which makes me miss the law professor, in an evil way, because he paid for everything.
Also, I have a lot of stuff to put in order before I go. Perhaps I will make a list. Those things seem to help.
